42 days of Frientimacy


Pausing for Deeper Friendships


42 days of Frientimacy


Pausing for Deeper Friendships

You’re invited on a virtual journey to develop more meaningful friendships

join Shasta Nelson, the author of Frientimacy: How to Deepen Your Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness.


If I were to ask you how meaningful and deep your friendships feel to you on a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being the most fulfilling), what number would you answer?

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If you’re like the vast majority of women, then you have what I call an “Intimacy Gap”—a gap between your current fulfillment levels versus what you wish it were.  In fact, women are twice as likely to list as 1 or 2 as they are a 9 or 10 and about half of everyone surveyed self-reported under a 5. 

  • We have an epidemic of loneliness and for most of us it’s not because we don’t know enough people, but rather because we don’t feel close enough to the ones we already know.
  • We are more networked than ever and yet often feeling like we have no net of friends beneath us.
  • We don’t see each other often enough, feel safe enough to share too deeply, or feel good enough about them and their behaviors to feel the benefits of frientimacy.
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I Invite You to Pause for Frientimacy

Join me, Shasta Nelson, for a virtual 42-day journey to move you into deeper friendships.

Forty-two days focused on frientimacy can only improve our lives.

Why  frientimacy?

Because deep friendships matter more to our health and happiness than almost any other thing!

Why pause? Because this isn’t a business course designed just to insert information into you as much as it’s a spiritual experience designed to help inspire you to take the time for one of the most crucial areas of our lives.

For 42 days we will commit to focus more on developing meaningful connection in our lives!

When & How?

For 42 days:

  • Listen to a 1-hour class every week taught by Shasta Nelson (will be e-mailed to you every Sat am where you can choose to listen to it at the same time as others OR listen at your own convenience)
  • Engage via private Facebook group with other students--asking questions and sharing insights.
  • Receive three emails every week to help you go deeper:  Mondays Reflection, Tuesdays Practice, and Thursdays Blessing.


All adult women who are open to deeper friendships are invited to participate.  Technical requirements are low: just a phone and access to email. 


 Scroll down to see the Full Schedule.



Want us to let you know when the next journey is going to start? click below to sign up to receive updates!


Week 1: Identifying Our Intimacy Gaps

Chances are high that you have an intimacy gap in your life. I’m not referring to the intimacy of a romantic relationship, but rather the lack of depth many of us feel in our friendship intimacy, or “frientimacy.” That is, a gap between the kind of friendships you want to have and the ones you do have. This isn’t to say your friends aren’t great people, or that you’re not a great friend. This is to say that, if you’re like most people, something in you knows that you have the capacity to both give and receive far more support, love, and intimacy than you currently enjoy.

In Week 1 we’ll look at why this journey is so important and identify our personal needs.

Week 2: The Way to Intimacy: The 3 Requirements to Deep Relationships

Frientimacy isn’t the goal with all our friends, but it most certainly is the goal, over time, with a few of our friends. Overall, most of us need two things: far more moments of intimacy with many people, and more consistent intimacy with a few people. Deep down, we want to be seen, connected, and accepted by many—and we can be.

In Week 2 we’ll look at understanding what frientimacy is, what three actions are required to be in any friendship, and how we can fix, repair, or enhance nearly any relationship in our lives.

Week 3: The Gap of Giving and Receiving

I’ve surveyed more than one thousand women on this subject. Only 26 percent feel the giving is shared equally, and a whopping 60 percent of us believe we do most of the giving in our relationships. Even the 26 percent who view their relationships as mutual tend to believe other women are more likely to be takers than givers. So we can’t talk about giving more positivity to our relationships if we’re fearful, tired, or frustrated at the idea of giving anything more.

In Week 3 we’ll explore many of the reasons why friendships can often feel out of balance, and more importantly: what we can do about it to create relationships that feel rewarding.

Week 4: The Gap of Inconsistent Time Together

The belief that we don’t have time for meaningful connections is easily the number-one complaint I hear as to why it’s so hard to foster substantial relationships. Even with those who feel they have time for friends say their friendships suffer because their friends don’t make time for them.

In Week 4 we’ll re-affirm why relationships need our time and deserve our priority in our lives, and look at four practices for how we can invest in our friendships. 

Week 5: The Gap of Updating Vs. Sharing

Is a willingness to tell anyone anything the sign of a healthy person? Does being authentic mean we have no secrets? Do we have to tell people the worst about us in order to bond with them? Is sharing our insecurities a strategy to starting a friendship? Is something wrong with us if we feel cautious when we reveal significant parts of ourselves? Does being vulnerable mean digging through our emotional closets? While we’re encouraged to “be more vulnerable,” we’re rarely taught what that actually looks like, when it’s appropriate, and how to practice it safely. That leaves most of us erring on one side or the other: Either we over share or we bottle up.

In Week 5 we’ll dive deep to understand the five actions that make up vulnerability so that we can feel safe while we bond with others in meaningful ways.

 Week 6: The Role of Frustration and Forgiveness in Friendship

Many believe that friendships are supposed to be easy and comfortable: pain free, all fun, total joy. I’ve heard many quip, “I don’t do drama” as though they are so enlightened that they can’t be bothered with anything that feels messy. But the truth is that conflict and change is part of any healthy relationship, and so we must cease viewing our collisions as bad signs and instead see them as invitations for growth and depth.

In Week 6 we have to look at how frustration and disappointment is part of relationships and how to handle it in a way that keeps the relationship healthy. We’ll explore the 4 stages of relationship and how to know when to cut our losses or lean in for repair. 

Week 7: Live Q&A with Shasta Nelson

In Week 7 you get to ask any question you have and I’ll help coach you through a friendship challenge, offer advice, or expand on any area of interest that you have. You will be able to submit your questions by email or ask them live.  We’ll learn and grown together! 

42 days MORE info


42 days MORE info



What is the 42 Days of Frientimacy Program?

Join me, Shasta Nelson, for a virtual 42-day journey to move you into deeper friendships.

I am offering this virtual 42-day journey because I really, really, really want women to sink their roots into the beliefs and teachings that can transform their relationships.  It’s one thing to read information in a book but quite another to learn from and ask questions of the author and teacher—all while sharing within a community of other women.  Brain function researchers and spiritual teachers alike say that if we practice something for 40 days then we can break habits, retrain our brain to think differently, and transform our patterns. 

Forty-two days focused on frientimacy can only improve our lives.



Why frientimacy? Because deep friendships matter more to our health and happiness than almost any other thing. Why pause? Because this isn’t a business course designed just to insert information into you as much as it is a spiritual experience designed to help inspire you to take the time for one of the most crucial areas of your life.

One of my favorite spiritual practices is called Sabbath.  The word literally means to stop or to cease.  For me it is a day where I pause from the things I focus on all week—career, TV, working out, cleaning the house, running errands, answering emails—and instead rest in the things that restore me: friends and family, yummy food, beautiful nature, acts of service, and spiritual and personal growth.  The things we look back on in our lives and know mattered the most but that we all too frequently didn’t always take the time to do.

So it’s not a day where I take more on, but rather a day where I do less in order to do what matters.

And meaningful friendships matter.  Almost more than anything else.  They matter to our longevity, our immune system, our happiness, our chances of surviving a health crisis, and our body’s ability to protect itself from stress.

Beyond health and happiness issues (which are not small things!), I believe that our relationships are the gyms where we do our most important emotional growth, too.  We can read all the self-help books in the world or attend every seminar offered on subjects such as forgiveness, compassion, not taking things personally, stepping into our greatness, etc.—but the only place we can practice becoming those things is within relationship with others.  Our friendships are the places where we practice learning to share deeply, listen intently, serve sincerely, love instead of judge, speak up for what we need, and shine instead of play small.  (In fact, it will be very challenging to develop frientimacy without learning these skills.)

Our friendships can bring us the best snorting laughter out there and the more sacred opportunities for growth.  We want it all!

I am inviting you to step into a mini-Sabbath experience with me each week to devote time to the most beautiful intention ever: deeper friendships.  We’ll take 60 minutes every Saturday morning (or you can listen to the recording at your convenience) for me to guide you into understanding how we can set up our lives for greater frientimacy and hopefully you’ll also choose to try to engage with at least one friend every weekend that you can! 

Let’s use our Saturdays for deepening the relationships in our lives!

Additionally, for those who want:

  • To accept the Frientimacy Challenge: I’ll be inviting you to consider devoting a portion of every Saturday to developing a friendship in some way.  That can be making a phone call, extending an invitation, or meeting up with a friend.
  • To participate in community: Every week, we hope you’ll share your journey—whether it’s a success story, a question, or your goals—on our Facebook group page with all the other women.
  • To sign up for partner calls: And for those who want it (back by popular demand!), there will be two opportunities to be matched with another student for a one-time phone call where you two “meet” each other over the phone, share some of your journey with each other (i.e. what insights you’re having, what practices you’ve tried) and brainstorm with and encourage each other. (Past participants ranked this as one of their favorite aspects!)



All adult women who are open to deeper friendships are invited to participate.  Technical requirements are low: just a phone and access to email. 

When asked how we’d rank our friendship between 1-10, with 10 being the most fulfilling we can imagine—75% of us are reporting dissatisfaction with the level of depth.  If that’s you: I would be honored to teach you what I know about how deeper friendships are developed. 

Whether we have meaningful friendships isn’t based on luck or fate.  It, in fact, has less to do with who we’re meeting and more to do with what we’re practicing with those we meet.  My new book, Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness, teaches the three requirements of friendships that I’ll be sharing with you in this 42-day journey.  Once we understand these three requirements, we can then start, deepen, and repair nearly any friendship.  (It also informs us when a friendship might need to end.)

If you are a woman who values these things, then this course might be right for you:

·      If you value deep friendships

·      If you value growing yourself and learning new things

·      If you value personal awareness and personal reflection

·      If you value your health

·      If you value setting aside time for that which matters to you

·      If you value moving beyond your fears and uncertainties

·      If you value a process that feels more sacred than business-y

·      If you value learning in a community of others

·      If you value believing that you can create the more fulfilling friendships you crave

·      If you value taking responsibility for your relationships instead of playing the victim role

·      If you value not letting past disappointments and betrayals stop you from future friendships

·      If you value the idea of having close friends who love you and support you

Do you relate to any of those? If so, you sound like my kind of woman.  I sincerely invite you to consider joining us on this journey!

We are going to commit to a beautiful, sacred, and transforming pause.  We are going to do it together.


join us!

*  Add one copy of Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness and we’ll gift you with a second copy of the book to give to whomever you want! 

** Add two copies of Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness and we’ll gift you with three more copies of the book! You’ll be the hit of the book club, the recipient of your friends praise, or the gratified giver as you wait for signs in the months to come of who would most benefit your generosity!



42 Days FAQs

42 Days FAQs


1. Can I really deepen my friendships in just 42 days?

Yes you can!  Any time together with others has the potential of deepening our friendships.  But no, you won’t have frientimacy in 42 days.  What these 7 weekends together will give you is the foundation for understanding how to make the most of your time together with friends so you can intentionally and strategically build healthier relationships.

2. How does this journey differ from your other course “The Friendships You’ve Always Wanted: Learning to Meet-Up, Build-up, and Break-Up with Your Friends”?

The “Friendships You’ve Always Wanted” course is a 12-week interview course where I interview the top experts in the field of friendship.  You can take that course anytime here.  It’s an amazing foundation, like a Friendship 101 class, since few of us have ever been taught friendship.

If you’ve taken that course, you can rest assured that this journey is very different!  First, I am the only teacher; I will be offering you as much as I know in the time we have together! Second, this course isn’t a broad overview of friendship, but rather is about going deeper with our friendships so this is a very targeted curriculum.  And thirdly, while I will be teaching a lot of content, this is purposely designed to be more experiential, almost spiritual-like, than simply conveying information.  So if those differences sound good to you—I hope you join us!

3. How do I participate in the course? Does the course require any special equipment?

All that you need is an open heart and mind, a telephone and a computer, and you’re all set. You will have the ability to download the full contents of the course as MP3 downloads and listen at your leisure if you can’t join us live for any of the calls.

4. How do I listen in on the calls?

We’ll send you the recorded classes on Saturday mornings so you can listen right away with other or at your convenience. They come in MP3 format so you can listen in from the download page (as long as you have speakers and some type of audio player like Windows Media Player, iTunes or the like). The electronic version allows you to download the MP3 to play on an iPod or other portable audio device if you have one.

5. How will I connect with the other people in the course?

You will connect with others through a private Facebook group where we can share what we’re learning, meet each other online, and give & ask personal advice about specific friendship issues we’re experiencing. This is always such a special part of the experience!

6. How do I know if this course is for me?

I want you to feel connected to your own beautiful tribe… you deserve it! But that doesn’t mean it’s for everyone, right now. One of my favorite quotes is from Martha Beck who says that when you can’t decide yes or no, just “choose the option that feels like freedom. Period.” I like that!

For some of you freedom will be saying yes– you’re ready to expand, to grow, to give yourself permission, to be curious, to take some incentive, to believe in connection. But some of you may feel more freedom in saying no, trust that. This isn’t a program that will serve anyone who is doing it from guilt or obligation; it was designed to inspire and lead you into community. So if now isn’t the time, you’ll feel more relief in giving yourself permission to say, “not now.”

Perhaps you’ll want to sign up for my blog or read my book first to see if my style resonates with you.  I welcome you to learn in whatever way serves you most!



So if you go at least halfway in the program (3 weeks) and feel that I didn’t deliver what I promised then by all means send us your notes from my first three calls or any evidence of your engagement, along with a note clarifying where you feel we didn’t live up to our commitment, and we’ll refund you 100% up to 45 days from program purchase. Promise!

What we don’t give refunds for is you changing priorities or not making the time to participate. Just as a health club that doesn’t give a membership refund just because you never got around to going, we don’t give refunds based on you not living up to your intention.  I do that with hopes that it incentivizes you to keep your commitment to yourself. I believe that your purchase is your stake in the ground saying, “This subject is important to me” so I want us to honor that.

My part: When I do something, it’s because I believe in the content and the power of the program. It is my intention to be clear what you’re getting, outline what I’m teaching you, and provide you with the resources I promise.  I promise to show up with as much love and learnings to give you as possible—so that every class seeks to feed your heart and your mind.

Your part: Making a purchase, while an important part of admitting we’re willing to do something toward fulfilling our values, is only the first step. Following through on our decision is where the power is. Buying this course doesn’t produce friendships for you. Rather it’s in the learning and applying what you hear that you’ll get the results you want. So to get the maximum out of our journey together hopefully when you buy this you can also say, “I care enough about fostering deeper relationships in my life that I am willing to devote at least 1-2 hours a week focusing on this theme and believing that I can improve my relationships.”

Therefore, in buying this product we both commit to each other to do our part. I give you the best version of the product that I describe clearly. You give me your participation. Deal?