Every year I round-up my top ten articles from the year and share them once more! Many of you joined us half-way through the year, missed a post here-or-there, and or may just want to re-read some of the best ones to see how they resonate with you now. I didn't blog this last year as much as I have in previous years (in part to writing a book most of this year--Frientimacy comes out March 1, 2016!) and I missed it. I love interacting with all of you in this way! So huge thanks to you for all your comments and questions and I look forward to writing more in the year ahead!
Here are the Top Ten:
I riled up a few of you with my unconventional post encouraging more Facebook updates! But so many of you wrote me confessing that you so enjoy reading others that it makes sense you might want to post a bit more, too! In this post I tackle some of the most common excuses for not post on Facebook.
While my upcoming book Frientimacy is all about how to deepen our friendships, for many of us we need to first be meeting potential friends and gathering up people to befriend. If meeting people is on your to-do list then here's a quick list of my best advice for creating new friendships!
Is there a formula to love? Yes indeed there is! We know what bonds people and what behaviors help two people feel close to each other! I've since built this model out but it's still pertinent and helpful even with the two required ingredients I list. Are you doing these two things?
I only wrote about Facebook twice this year but both posts made it into the top ten! I've long been asked how one might know when it's time to unfriend someone on social media and while my answer may not be the right one for you, it hopefully gets you thinking about why you use Facebook and what type of relationships you're prepared to develop!
Oh it's so easy to get our feelings hurt by the perceived negligence of our friends: their not calling, not reaching out, or not inviting us to things. It's easy to create a story that we are being rejected-- that this is their way of saying that we aren't important to them. But that would be a mistake.
Someone wrote in and asked for my advice as she feels like everyone is too busy and unable to make the time for friendship that she is. So while we can't just wave a magic wand and make a ton of free time for everyone, here are some tips I have for what we can do to help initiate and inspire more meaningful and consistent connections with others.
So many women are looking new friends but frequently are trying to do so without following these three guidelines! Far too many people leave friend-making to chance and don't understand that they can't develop good friends without following this advice.
It's hard to say no to people, especially friends, but I am a strong champion of our need to practice saying no when we need to. In fact it's intimately connected to our need to ask more clearly for what we need from people. We need to get better at both. The two are linked-- as we practice saying no, we tell others it's okay to do that too, and we'll both feel more comfortable asking for what we need when we can trust the other to say no if they can't. In this post I share how I learned to say no.
Someone wrote in and asked for my advice about whether I thought it was worth her trying to salvage a friendship that hadn't felt particularly meaningful or high priority to her former best friend. Read her question and see what advice you'd give her, and read my reasons for why I weighed in how I did!
So many of us resist sharing vulnerably with others, often because we feel we've been burned before when we did. We don't want to put ourselves at risk unnecessarily so we tend to clam up instead of open up. But maybe the problem isn't whether we share or how we share, but rather making sure that who we're sharing with is the right people? Here;s my litmus test for deciding how much risk to take with others.
Thanks for being a part of this community as a woman who is committed to being a healthy friend in this world! It's been an honor.
With gratitude for a year where we all grew in our maturity and loved more deeply,
p.s. As always, I welcome your comments! Share with me which one is your favorite! Or what you hope I write about more in the year to come!
p.s.s Want more popular articles?