FRIENDSHIP EXPERT
KEYNOTE SPEAKER
AUTHOR
I’ve spent the last 15+ years doing something most people thought was a little ridiculous: studying friendship like it’s serious science.
Turns out — it is. 😜
The research is unequivocal: our relationships are the single strongest predictor of our health, happiness, longevity, and even our performance at work. Not our diet. Not our exercise habits. Our relationships. And yet most of us were never taught how to build them.
That’s the gap I’ve made my life’s work. And honestly? While it wasn’t trendy or profitable for a long time after I got started, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
WHAT I DO
I’m a friendship expert, keynote speaker, and author of four books on the science of human connection. For over 15 years, I’ve been translating peer-reviewed research into frameworks that actually help people — in their personal lives and at work.
Speaking is the heartbeat of my work. I’m on stages most weekends of the year — keynoting at annual conferences, association events, leadership retreats, and team-building experiences across virtually every industry. Companies like Google, LinkedIn, Walmart, and Chick-fil-A bring me in when they’re ready to take connection seriously — not as a feel-good initiative, but as a business strategy. I’m the speaker who can make a room of strangers feel like they’re in on something together, and walk away knowing exactly what to do differently — because I take 15 years of friendship research and make it feel personally relevant to every single person in the room.
Off stage, I’m the CEO of Relational Results, where I work with organizations to actually measure the quality of relationships on their teams. Most companies talk about culture — few ever look at it clearly enough to do anything about it. My proprietary assessment changes that. If you can’t evaluate it, you can’t diagnose it. If you can’t diagnose it, you can’t fix it.
I also serve as Chief Friendship Officer of the U.S. Chamber of Connection — a national initiative working to reverse the decline in social connection one city at a time. We’re currently piloting in Seattle, with more cities to follow.
In media, I’ve become a go-to voice on friendship, loneliness, and belonging — quoted in The New York Times, TIME, Forbes, and Harvard Business Review, and a regular guest on shows including Today. I’ve delivered two TEDx talks (nearly one million views, in case you were wondering if anyone else finds this as fascinating as I do).
And in my newest book (releasing September 2027): a national study we conducted found that only 17% of Americans are relationally thriving. The people in that 17% aren’t luckier or more likable — they have six specific types of relationships in their lives. Unfortunately, most of us only have one or two. This book is about what those six are, and how to build all of them.
MY STORY
When I went to college, “Friendship Expert” wasn’t exactly a major you could declare. (Believe me, I would have.)
Instead, I started with a journalism degree and a plan to become a war correspondent. Which, looking back, says something about my lifelong obsession with one question:
Why do humans struggle so hard to get along with each other?
Eventually I decided I’d rather try to prevent the wars than report on them. So I earned a Master of Divinity, became a pastor, and spent years doing something that turned out to be the first real laboratory for everything I now teach: building communities where people actually felt known.
I was endlessly curious about our hunger to belong — what it actually takes to build community, and why we so often
GET IN OUR OWN WAY
In 2008, I wanted to build more community for more people — so I launched GirlFriendCircles.com, one of the first friendship-matching platforms in the country. It became an incredible second laboratory: a front-row seat to thousands of women trying to make friends as adults — what worked, what didn’t, what they were afraid of, and what they actually needed.
What I learned there became my first book, Friendships Don’t Just Happen, then my second, Frientimacy. For years, my life was filled with courses, retreats, speaking engagements, blog posts, and coaching calls — all of it orbiting the same question:
How do we actually get better at friendship as adults?
In 2008, I wanted to build more community for more people — so I launched GirlFriendCircles.com, one of the first friendship-matching platforms in the country. It became an incredible second laboratory: a front-row seat to thousands of women trying to make friends as adults — what worked, what didn’t, what they were afraid of, and what they actually needed.
What I learned there became my first book, Friendships Don’t Just Happen, then my second, Frientimacy. For years, my life was filled with courses, retreats, speaking engagements, blog posts, and coaching calls — all of it orbiting the same question: how do we actually get better at friendship as adults? I was in the thick of it, learning alongside the thousands of women I was helping.
And then I started noticing something.
The same loneliness, the same relational hunger, the same skills gap I was seeing in people’s personal lives — it was everywhere at work too.
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That Realization
CHANGED EVERYTHING
THE MISSION
Today, my work spans research, speaking, writing, assessment tools, and national initiatives because I believe one of the greatest challenges of our time isn’t loneliness itself—it’s that we’ve never been taught how to build the kinds of relationships that help us thrive.
If we can help people build healthier relationships, almost everything else gets better.
That’s the mission behind everything I do.
MY FRIENDSHIP LIFE
Because a friendship expert who doesn’t have one isn’t an expert — she’s just a theorist. 😅
I have a solid crew of close friends — the kind who have seen me at my worst and keep showing up anyway. In practice, that looks like: Marco Polo voice memos recorded in the dark at 5am on the way to the airport, a standing Sunday Zoom I helped start but reliably under-attend (they meet without me and I love them for it), monthly phone catch-ups that live on the calendar like actual appointments, an annual girls’ weekend, a speakers community I’m deeply invested in, and neighbors I’m actively trying to know better — including a potluck I’ve claimed as my new favorite neighborhood ritual.
This September I’m turning 50, and my plan is a vineyard dinner with the ten friends who know me best — all flying in to gather around one table. If you want to know what I actually value, that’s it: good food, a great Cab, and my people.
Here's why friendship has become even more precious lately...
These days I live in the Sierra Nevada foothills of Northern California with my husband Greg. We have strong opinions about morning coffee, long afternoon walks, and the particular magic of a dinner table with good people around it. ❤️
Greg was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s — and we’ve chosen to chronicle that journey publicly, which has been one of the more unexpected gifts of my career. Writing and talking openly about what it means to love someone through this has given me new language for things I thought I already understood: how profoundly we need our people when life gets heavy, how hard it is to keep friendships alive when you’re carrying something enormous, and how connection doesn’t just feel important in seasons like this — it becomes the whole point. The research I’ve been sharing for 15 years suddenly feels less like something I teach and more like something I’m living on a daily basis.
Trust the Data
RELATIONSHIPS
ARE EVERYTHING
Want more connection in your life?
START HERE
Interested in bringing me to your stage?
FOR ORGANIZATIONS
FOR INDIVIDUALS
Looking for friendship frameworks for your own life?
Researcher of 10,000+ friendships
Through nationwide surveys, in-depth interviews, and lived experience studying how people form, maintain, and deepen relationships across every stage of life.
Chief Friendship Officer, U.S. Chamber of Connection
Building a nationwide model for helping people feel at home and connected in every U.S. city.
Author of 4 books
Friendships Don’t Just Happen!, Frientimacy, The Business of Friendship, and a fourth releasing September 2027
Speaker at 500+ events across 20+ industries
Including Google, LinkedIn, Walmart, Chick-fil-A, Salesforce, and Kaiser Permanente.
CEO, Relational Results
Helping organizations measure, diagnose, and improve the quality of relationships on their teams.
Host of the podcast Frientimacy
Real conversations with real friends navigating hard moments and staying close.
International Retreat + TravelCircle Leader
Hosting friendship-focused trips and retreats each year.
Regular media contributor
Harvard Business Review, TIME, Forbes, The New York Times, Today, and 150+ other outlets.
2x TEDx Speaker
Nearly 1 million views.
Former Pastor (M.Div.)
Specializing in emotional wellness, spiritual growth, and authentic connection.
THE SHASTA SNAPSHOT
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